Larry the Cable Guy: Goodness

Larry the Cable Guy is American stand-up comedian, actor, country music artist, voice artist. Explore interesting quotes on goodness.
Larry the Cable Guy: 76 quotes0 likes

“If you're in a Gay Mafia and you get whacked, is that good or bad? [gay voice] Say hello to my little friend.”

Larry the Cable Guy

Morning Constitutions (2007)

“(intro) Well, here we go. This is the first book I've written since 1975, when I was in the 7th grade and wrote Boogers Are Good Eatin'.”

Larry the Cable Guy

Source: Git-R-Done (book), p. 1

“Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said "You need to lay off eggs." I go "Is my cholesterol bad?" He said "No, your farts are killing everybody in this room."”

Larry the Cable Guy

Morning Constitutions (2007)

“She was worried about childbirth too cause she's little, you know. She's all scared. She's like, "When I have this kid, I want to be knocked out and unconscious." And I'm like "That's how ya were when you got pregnant!" That's full circle, right there! I did feel bad. That's tough. I'm tellin' ya. I felt horrible for her. Just pushing, and sweating, and screaming at the top of her lungs, and pushing and sweating, biting down on a stick… Ugh! Now she knows how I feel after a couple of Hot Pockets. You ever eat them Hot Pockets? Good Lord! I was backed up like a urinal on Saint Patrick's Day after eating them damn things. It was embarrassing. She's in the bed, giving b-[Grunting] I'm on the toilet next to her, [grunting] You know? I'm like "I need another Epidural in here if you got one!"”

Larry the Cable Guy

Morning Constitutions (2007)

“Actually, you can make pretty good cash on stage without being a comedian or a stripper. My brother once won a talent contest by fartin' the song "Dixie" through an oil funnel. He not only took home 500 bucks, he got to meet Regis after the show. Who says dreams don't come true?”

Larry the Cable Guy

Source: Git-R-Done (book), p. 11