Famous Kin Hubbard Quotes
“Ther's still a few honest folks left but they never seem t' find anything you lose.”
Short Furrows http://books.google.com/books?id=CboVAAAAYAAJ&q=%22ther's+still+a+few+honest+folks+left+but+they+never+seem+t'%22 (1913).
“It's purty hard t' be efficient without bein' obnoxious.”
Short Furrows (1913)
Variants:
It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
As quoted in The Book of Unusual Quotations (1957) by Rudolf Franz Flesch, p. 73
It's pretty hard t' be efficient without bein' obnoxious.
As quoted in The Quote Verifier : Who Said What, Where, and When (2006) by Ralph Keyes, p. 94.
“Now an' then an innocent man is sent t' th' legislature.”
Back Country Folks (1914)
As quoted in The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations (1949) by Evan Esar, p. 105.
Variant: Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
“Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower.”
As quoted in Reading I've Liked : A Personal Selection Drawn from Two Decades of Reading (1941) by Clifton Fadiman, p. 827.
Variants:
A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
As quoted in The Modern Handbook of Humor (1967) by Ralph Louis Woods, p. 17
The bee isn't really that busy — it just can't buzz any slower.
As quoted in Peter's People (1979) by Laurence J. Peter, p. 29.
Abe Martin's Primer : The Collected Writings of Abe Martin and his Brown County, Indiana, Neighbors (1914)
As quoted in Instant Quotation Dictionary (1969) by Donald O. Bolander, p. 23.
Variant: Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.
Kin Hubbard Quotes
“Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.”
As quoted in The Book of Unusual Quotations (1957) by Rudolf Franz Flesch, p. 8.
“When a fellow says, "It hain't the money, but th' principle o' the thing," it's th' money.”
Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926).
As quoted in The American Treasury, 1455-1955 (1955) by Clifton Fadiman, p. 993.
Variant: When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.
“Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.”
New Sayings by Abe Martin and Velma's Vow: A gripping love tale by Miss Fawn Lippincut (1916).
“Th' only way t' entertain some folks is t' listen t' 'em.”
New Sayings by Abe Martin and Velma's Vow: A Gripping Love Tale by Miss Fawn Lippincut (1916).
“Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.”
As quoted in Geary's Guide to the World's Great Aphorists (2007) by James Geary, p. 39
Writing as his character, "th' Hon. Ex.-Editur Cale Fluhart." as quoted in The American Humorist : Conscience of the Twentieth Century (1964) by Norris W. Yeats, p. 107.
“Nobuddy ever listened t' reason on a empty stomach.”
From Abe Martin's "Short Furrows" http://books.google.com/books?id=uUUoAQAAMAAJ&q=%22Nobuddy+ever+listened+t+reason+on+a+empty+stomach%22&pg=RA3-PA16#v=onepage, The American Magazine, February 1913.
Abe Martin's Primer : The Collected Writings of Abe Martin and his Brown County, Indiana, Neighbors (1914).
“If at first you do succeed don't take any more chances.”
Back Country Folks (1914).
Elbert Hubbard, part of a larger comment quoted from Electrical Review without further attribution in The Search for the North Pole (1896) by Evelyn Briggs Baldwin, p. 520, this was later published as part of various works by Hubbard, including An American Bible (1918) edited by Alice Hubbard. Also once misattributed to Amelia J Calver in The Manifesto (January 1896) by the United Society of Believers in Christ’s Second Appearing (Shakers), misattribution to Kin Hubbard seems to be a relatively recent occurrence on the internet.
Misattributed
“Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.”
As quoted in The Book of Unusual Quotations (1957) by Rudolf Franz Flesch, p. 47.
“Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.”
As quoted in Peter's People (1979) by Laurence J. Peter, p. 28.
“We’d all like t’vote fer th’best man, but he’s never a candidate.”
The Best of Kin Hubbard (1984) Variant: We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
“Some folks can look so busy doin' nothin' that they seem indispensable.”
As quoted in Saturday Review (18 March 1944), p. 19
Variant: Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
Short Furrows http://books.google.com/books?id=DCQOAAAAYAAJ&q=%22Never+tell+the+box-office+man+that+you+can't+hear+well+or+he+will+sell+you+a+seat+where+you+can't+see+either%22&pg=PA10#v=onepage (1911).
