Jim Gaffigan Quotes

James Christopher Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He was raised in Chesterton, Indiana. His material is often about fatherhood, observations, laziness, and food. He is also regarded as a "clean" comic, using little profanity in his routines. He has had several successful comedy specials, including Mr. Universe, Obsessed, and Cinco, all three of which received Grammy nominations.

His memoir, Dad Is Fat and his most recent book, Food: A Love Story , are both published by Crown Publishers. He co-created and starred in a TV Land television series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show.

He collaborates extensively with his wife, actress Jeannie Gaffigan, and together they have five children. They are Catholic, a topic that comes up in his comedy, and live in Manhattan, New York City. Wikipedia  

✵ 7. July 1966
Jim Gaffigan photo
Jim Gaffigan: 21   quotes 1   like

Famous Jim Gaffigan Quotes

“Yeah, I am a character actor.”

Doug Elfman (November 19, 2006) "Oh, 'Boys': New show centers on a female sportswriter who likes guys and likes to drink. Just don't call her 'hot.'", Chicago Sun-Times, p. D11.

“I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.”

Michael McIntyre (February 9, 2007) "He's bringing home the bacon, from clubs to Super Bowl ads", The Plain Dealer, p. 30.

“Of course what makes breakfast in bed so special is you're lying down and eating bacon, the most beautiful thing on Earth. Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause. (sizzling sounds) YEAAAA BACON!!!! You wanna hear how good bacon is? To improve other food they wrap it in bacon. If it wasn't for bacon we wouldn't even know what a water chestnut is. "Thank you bacon. Sincerely, Water Chestnut the third". And those bits of bacon, bits of bacon are like the fairy dust of the food community. "you don't want this baked potato," bbbrrriinnnggg! it's now your favorite part of the meal. "not interested in a salad?" bippady boppidy bacon! Just turned it into an entre. And once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA! bacon! not many ways to prepare bacon, you can either fry it or get botulism. It's amazing the shrinkage that occurs. You start with a pound you end up with a book mark. You know the only bad part about bacon is it makes you thirsty… for more bacon! I never feel like I get enough bacon. at breakfast it's like they're rationalizing it. "Here's your two strips of bacon." "But I want more! More bacon!" Whenever you're at a brunch buffet and you see that metal tray filled with the four thousand strips of bacon, don't you almost expect a rainbow to be coming out of it? "I found it I found the source of all bacon!"”

That bacon tray is always at the end of the buffet, you always regret all the stuff on your plate. "What am I doing with all this worthless fruit? I should have waited! If I had known you were here I would've waited...."
King Baby

“It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and there is no longer; there is cynicism mixed with sarcasm and some optimism. That's how my background influenced my comedy.”

Ben Fields (September 28, 2008) "Laugh Again with Gaffigan - Down-to-earth Gaffigan getting ready to bring 'Sexy' to the Keith", The Herald-Dispatch, p. 1.

“I liked the idea that my character was not gonna be the typical dumb guy that I play, typically. I also loved the fact that it was dealing with kind of adult-extended adolescence, which I think is always interesting -- a bunch of people that don't wanna grow up.”

On his character in My Boys — interview in Bob Kostanczuk (December 15, 2006) "From 'Pale Force' to 'My Boys' Region native Jim Gaffigan keeps comedy career chuggin' with new sitcom", Post-Tribune, p. D1.

Jim Gaffigan Quotes about people

“On MySpace … the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.”

Eric Deggans (February 19, 2006) "Seems like MySpace is everyone's space", St. Petersburg Times, p. 1A.

“Hopefully, some of it has to do with us being good actors, too. There's some of it where you get lucky. You come on the job and there are people with you where there's a chemistry there.”

On the chemistry between the cast members of My Boys — interview in David Kronke, Los Angeles Daily News (June 12, 2008) "Baseball, Beer, and, of Course, The Boys - Actress Jordana Spiro Takes a Run at a Man's World and Delivers a Small Hit for TBS", South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Sun-Sentinel Company, p. 12E.

“I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times. …”

Stephanie Bouchard (February 15, 2007) "Pasty-faced and proud of it - Comedian Jim Gaffigan brings his 'Beyond the Pale Tour' to Merrill Auditorium", Portland Press Herald, Blethen Maine Newspapers Inc., D10.
Context: I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times.... I try and make humor out of the really important issues of the day, like Hot Pockets and elevators and not wanting to get out of bed.

Jim Gaffigan Quotes

“I'd been acting and doing stand-up in New York about eight years, getting rejected, and I finally got the opportunity to do stand-up on Letterman, which holds even more importance for me. With comedians, that's definitely the pinnacle, but being from Indiana, it was a big to-do.”

On getting his big break, an appearance on Late Show With David Letterman — interview in Virginia Rohan (November 29, 2000) "Partly Howdy - Jim Gaffigan Is a Midwestern Weatherman Who Takes On The Big City in 'Welcome To New York'", The Record, p. Y1.

“One thing I've always appreciated about Dave is that he can be sarcastic without being alienating and self-deprecating without being self-abusing.”

On David Letterman — interview in Joanne Weintraub (November 21, 2000) "Mr. Midwest - Jim Gaffigan tries to hold his own", Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, p. 1.

“I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.”

John Wenzel (October 10, 2008) "Underneath that pasty exterior beats the dark heart of a comic", The Denver Post, p. D-12.

“As an actor, you deal with so much rejection and humiliation. When the good things come around, you tend not to trust your instincts.”

Mike McDaniel (November 21, 2000) "Gaffigan's 'Welcome': Series drops a friendly Indiana weatherman in the Big Apple", Houston Chronicle, p. 8.

“In Indiana, I wasn't anything special. But in New York, I've gone out with girls with purple hair who go out with me because I'm exotic!”

Frazier Moore, Associated Press (December 27, 2000) "Comic Gaffigan Gets A Hayseed's Welcome to New York", Sun-Sentinel, p. 3E.

“Stand-up is an amazing art form, I think, because it's all about you having complete control of the situation, but absolutely none.”

Allan Johnson (October 7, 2005) "Seriously, Jim Gaffigan is an actor and a stand-up comic", Chicago Tribune, p. 9.

“I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat (would-be hecklers) to the punch.”

Explaining his use of "inner voice" speech during his stand-up routines — interview in Michael Corcoran (February 18, 2007) "When studios need a doofus, Jim Gaffigan is their main man", Austin American-Statesman, p. J01.

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