“Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!”Jeff Foxworthy Games Rednecks Play (1995)
“A few weeks ago, sitting in traffic -- bumper-to-bumper traffic in Atlanta -- the car in front of me has got a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you love Jesus". I toot the horn a couple times, and the guy flipped me off.”Jeff Foxworthy Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)
“My mother won't drive 50 miles an hour. You put her in a rental car, she's doing doughnuts in the grocery store parking lot!”Jeff Foxworthy Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)
“[about rental car employees who ask if he wants the additional insurance]I say "Yes, I would. 'Cause you've got a Ford Fiesta that's about to see more airtime than a skateboard at the X-Games."”Jeff Foxworthy Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)
“Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.”Jeff Foxworthy Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)