George Carlin: Likeness

George Carlin was American stand-up comedian. Explore interesting quotes on likeness.
George Carlin: 540 quotes98 likes

“During bombing raids in Iraq, the media liked to say that Saddam Hussein used people as human shields. That's not accurate. Although it's true they were used as shields, the fact is they were humans already. So if these humans were used as shields, they were human shields. They weren't being used as human shields. Got that?”

George Carlin

Books, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)

“I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on. And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshiper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshiper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know?…”

George Carlin

You Are All Diseased (1999)

“I don’t believe in road rage; I prefer the gentle rebuke. If I don’t like the way someone is driving, I pull up alongside the other car and say, “I hope your children turn out poorly.” Only once have I lost my cool. That was the time I said to a woman, “I hope you get a blister on your cunt.’ But I said it with a smile.”

George Carlin

Books, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)

“If you take five white guys and put 'em with five black guys, and let 'em hang around together for about a month, and at the end of the month, you'll notice that the white guys are walking and talking and standing like the black guys do. You'll never see the black guys going, "Oh, golly! We won the big game today, yes sir!"”

George Carlin

But you'll see guys with red hair named Duffy going, "What's happenin'?"
Occupation: Foole (1973)

“During bombing raids in Iraq, the media liked to say that Saddam Hussein used people as human shields.”

George Carlin

That's not accurate. Although it's true they were used as shields, the fact is they were humans already. So if these humans were used as shields, they were human shields. They weren't being used as human shields. Got that?
Books, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)

“Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people [snaps fingers] just like that!”

George Carlin

What Am I Doing in New Jersey? (1988)