Fran Lebowitz: Doing

“Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.”

Fran Lebowitz book Social Studies

"Parental Guidance".
Social Studies (1981)

Money , Children

“Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable expectations and eventual disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around the room with royal-blue chickens.”

Fran Lebowitz book Social Studies

"Parental Guidance".
Social Studies (1981)

Books , Education , Disappointment , Dance

“Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.”

Fran Lebowitz book Social Studies

" Parental Guidance https://books.google.com/books?id=xCV8OXwBuNcC&printsec=frontcover&dq=%22fran+lebowitz%22+%22parental+guidance%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiX3rO2xPvPAhXl1IMKHbrqAqAQ6AEIKjAC#v=onepage&q=%22Parental%20Guidance%20s%22&f=false".
Social Studies (1981)

“Women who insist on having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.”

Fran Lebowitz book Metropolitan Life

"Letters" (p. 143).
Metropolitan Life (1978)

Women , Men , Strong

“How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.”

Fran Lebowitz

Reported in Ginai Bellafante, " Opinions You Won’t Find on Twitter: Fran Lebowitz Talks http://tv.nytimes.com/2010/11/22/arts/television/22lebowitz.html?pagewanted=2, The New York Times (November 21, 2010).
Other

“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”

Fran Lebowitz book Metropolitan Life

"Mars: Living in a Small Way" (p. 101).
Metropolitan Life (1978)

Life , Sleep

“Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.”

Fran Lebowitz book Metropolitan Life

"Digital Clocks and Pocket Calculators: Spoilers of Youth" (p. 84).
Metropolitan Life (1978)

“I understand, of course, that many people find smoking objectionable. That is their right. I would, I assure you, be the very last to criticize the annoyed. I myself find many-- even most-- things objectionable. Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one's home. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs. In private I avoid such people; in public they have the run of the place. I stay at home as much as possible, and so should they. When it is necessary, however, to go out of the house, they must be prepared, as I am, to deal with the unpleasant personal habits of others. That is what "public" means.”

Fran Lebowitz book Social Studies

"When Smoke Gets in Your Eyes...Shut Them".
Social Studies (1981)

Children , People , Home , Understanding

“Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.”

Fran Lebowitz book Social Studies

"Parental Guidance"
Social Studies (1981)

Children , Drink