Doug Stanhope: Doing

Doug Stanhope is American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Explore interesting quotes on doing.
Doug Stanhope: 56   quotes 1   like

“All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs… and more holes, that's what you ladies need!”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

Life , Disease

“There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

People

“There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.”

Doug Stanhope

Before Turning the Gun on Himself (2012)

Life

“I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil."”

Doug Stanhope

Are you a president or an exorcist?!
Word of Mouth (2002)

Game , Drink , Evil , Time

“Well, you know these immigrants, they come to our country, they burden our tax system. What they do is they come here and get into our education system and our health care and I gotta pay the taxes. My taxes have to pay that. Well what the fuck are you doing to me every time you have a kid? Every time you have a kid because its American I should pull up a chaise lounge and wave a flag while 15 of those things come out of you? Oh, I can’t wait to pay for these! They’re American! I have a vasectomy and an abortion on my record, but I can’t wait to pay for your fucking fat-headed mid-western kids. Love it! I’ll take a second job.”

Doug Stanhope

No Refunds (2007)

Time , Waiting , Country , Health