Dorothy Parker: Trending quotes (page 4)

“Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten, and man is bored.
With this the gist and sum of it,
What earthly good can come of it?”

“Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.”

“I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.”

“If I had a shiny gun
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folks that cause me pains :)”

“Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.”

“Living well is the best revenge.”

“Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that cleans up the matter.”

“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.”

“Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
a medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
and I am Marie of Romania.”

“Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?”

“Her mind lives tidily, apart from cold and noise and pain. And bolts the door against her heart, out wailing in the rain.”

“If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.”

“I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.”

“It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.”

“Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never serious be, nor true,
And your wish will come to you--
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did.”

“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.”

“Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.”

“Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.”

“And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.”