Dorothy Parker: Trending quotes (page 2)

“If I didn't care for fun and such,
I'd probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.”

“Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”

“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.”

“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”

“And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned.”

“She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”

“Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”

“If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think 'How lucky are the dead.”

“I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me.”

“Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.”

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”

“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”

“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”