David Sedaris: Trending quotes

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David Sedaris: 216 quotes0 likes

“There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.”

David Sedaris Naked

Source: Naked

“I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“she took pictures of germs, viruses, and people reacting to germs and viruses. On weekends, for extra money, she photographed weddings, which really wasn't that much of a stretch”

David Sedaris book Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Source: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“In Japanese and Italian, the response to ["How are you?"] is "I'm fine, and you?" In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by "Not so good.”

David Sedaris book Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Source: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

“Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.”

David Sedaris book Holidays on Ice

Source: Holidays on Ice

“there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again," he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. "It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone.”

“clatter of a typewriter suggests that you're actually building something.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father."
He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples."
He nice, the Jesus.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconveniences: polio, say, or the thought of eating stewed squirrel. The world was simply grander back then, somehow more civilized, and nicer to look at.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.”

David Sedaris book Holidays on Ice

Source: Holidays on Ice

“You haven't lived until you've sailed”

Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002

“… name association was big, as were my presumed interests in vaudeville and politics. In St. Louis the Bow tie was characterized as "very Charlie McCarthy", while in Chicago a young man defined it as "the pierced eyebrow of the Republican party."”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

On stereotypes of bowtie wearers, [Sedaris, David, David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Little, Brown and Company, Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie?, 2008, 0316143472]
When You Are Engulfed in Flames (2008)

“After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.”

David Sedaris book Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (2004)

“on genders of nouns: Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied?”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“For the first twenty years of my life I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even make it to bed. I'd squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I'm now told that this is not called "going to sleep" but rather "passing out," a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.”

David Sedaris Naked

Naked (1997)

“If cooking is an art, I think we're in our Dada phase.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)