David Sedaris: Trending quotes

David Sedaris trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
David Sedaris: 216 quotes0 likes

“I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.”

David Sedaris

Source: Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

“Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”

David Sedaris

“If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?”

David Sedaris book Holidays on Ice

Source: Holidays on Ice

“I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”

David Sedaris Naked

Source: Naked (1997)

“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”

David Sedaris Naked

Source: Naked

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”

David Sedaris book Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Source: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

“If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings”

David Sedaris book Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Source: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.”

David Sedaris

“All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”

David Sedaris book Holidays on Ice

Source: Holidays on Ice

“I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.”

David Sedaris

“Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.”

David Sedaris book Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Source: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as cute.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames