David Sedaris: Trending quotes

David Sedaris trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
David Sedaris: 216 quotes0 likes

“A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention”

David Sedaris

“I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn what excellence feels like.”

David Sedaris

“I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.”

David Sedaris book Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Source: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for it was there that I discovered drugs, drinking, and smoking..”

David Sedaris Naked

Source: Naked

“Their house had real hard-cover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.”

David Sedaris book Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Variant: Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
Source: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

“And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.”

David Sedaris

“In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work things out for the sake of the apartment.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“In the beginning, I was put off by the harshness of German. Someone would order a piece of cake, and it sounded as if it were an actual order, like, "Cut the cake and lie facedown in that ditch between the cobbler and the little girl."”

David Sedaris book Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

I'm guessing this comes from having watched too many Second World War movies.

Essay, "Easy, tiger". p.80
Source: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls (2013)

“People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide… My mom was actually jealous.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it.”

David Sedaris Naked

Source: Naked