Craig Ferguson: Trending quotes (page 2)

“I'm always a bit shy around evil people…”

“I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.”

“Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.”

“Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.”

“I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps.”

“Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.”

“When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.”

“Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012”

“I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.”

“I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.”

“I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.”

“I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day.

Whoever I had become had to die.”

“Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else.”

“It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.”

“She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.

I do have a knack for finding great women.”

“Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.”

“The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.”

“I think in our desire to create a better America, we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.”

“You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.”