Chris Rock: Trending quotes

Chris Rock trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection

Chris Rock: 122 quotes20 likes

“You can't beat white people, you can only knock them out.”

Chris Rock on Real Time with Bill Maher, September 26, 2008
Miscellaneous

“Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judging the singing. Paula Abdul?! Getting Paula Abdul to judge a singing contest is like getting Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest!”

Miscellaneous

“You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.”

Never Scared (HBO, 2004)

“So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America … but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's trying keep the Feds off her back.”

Never Scared (HBO, 2004)

“Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check … is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"”

Never Scared (HBO, 2004)

“Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.”

Bring the Pain (HBO, 1996)

“What is on Kobe's mind? Going to Colorado, around all these white people, and not bringing Johnnie Cochran? Well then they say, "well if you hire Johnnie Cochran, you're going to look guilty." Yeah, but you going home! You want to look innocent in jail? I'd rather look guilty at the mall.”

Never Scared (HBO, 2004)

“If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! "This is a rap killing. Let's go home!"”

Never Scared (HBO, 2004)

“I hope that Live Earth ends global warming the same way the Live Aid ended world poverty.”

In an interview at Live Earth in London
Miscellaneous

“Black Santa Claus caused more tears than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.”

From Everybody Hates Chris second season episode, "Everybody Hates Chris"
Miscellaneous

“If the kid call his grandmama "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he going to jail!”

Bigger and Blacker (HBO, 1999)

“Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.”

Bring the Pain (HBO, 1996)

“See… Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus? That focus is all about HER! It's all about her!”

Never Scared (HBO, 2004)

“You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.”

Bring the Pain (HBO, 1996)

“Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks”

https://twitter.com/chrisrock/status/220512157937315842 <br class="br">Twitter <br class="br">2012-07-04, quoted in Chris Rock Lights Up Controversy With Fourth of July Tweet, 2012-07-06, ABC News http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/07/chris-rock-fires-up-controversy-with-fourth-of-july-tweet/, <br class="br">Miscellaneous

“You mean to tell me that Hawaiians came up with pineapples, resorts, hula hoops, Magnum P. I. and the best damn punch in the world and they don't get no money from it!?”

Never Scared (Album Version, 2005)

“The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl."”

At the Academy Awards as host
Miscellaneous

“Everybody want to know what the kids was listening to, what kind of music they was listening to, or what kind of movies they was watching. Who gives a fuck what they was watching? Whatever happened to CRAZY?”

Bigger and Blacker (Album Version, 1999)

“On Desperate Housewives: I think they should change the name of that show from Desperate Housewives…to Ungrateful Bitches! You all are hoes bitch!”

Kill the Messenger (2008)

“Who gives a fuck what they was watching? Whatever happened to crazy?”

Bigger and Blacker (HBO, 1999)