Carl Barron Quotes

“I love tea. Mmmm. I know I'm getting old because I'm startin' get excited about tea. Just sitting in the loungeroom bored ya no. Somebody goes "You want a cup of tea?" and I go "Oar he hor." Start feeling a little bit depressed when it gets to the bottom, I think to myself I'll just make myself another cup, I can feel happy again.”

“Sometimes you're talkin' and a little bit of spit flies out. You see it floating in the sky and land on 'em. You both see it happen and you go "Ooooh" you're thinkin' "Woops I got him!" He's thinking "Woops he got me!" But no one says anything. Because it's a secret. If his spit lands on me I don't do anything, I don't wipe it straight away, because I don't wanna embarass them. Hey, I've got his spit on my face and I'm worried about his feelings. You go "Sorry Carl" and I go "Nah, nah it's alright, I love being spat on."”

“Do you do those secret farts at the supermarket. Quickly piss off to another aisle.”

“I saw a bloke the other day talking to himself. So I tried to listen but I couldn't hear him. But the weird part is while I was watching him I was going "That bloke's bloody talkin' to himself over there." There's another bloke looking at me going "That bloke's bloody talkin' to himself over there."”

“I hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got twenty in the bank straight away.”

“My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts.”