Bob Monkhouse Quotes

Robert Alan Monkhouse was an English entertainer and comedian.

He was a comedy writer, comedian and actor and was also well known on television as a presenter and game show host. He was probably best known for being host of the TV game shows The Golden Shot, Celebrity Squares and Family Fortunes. Wikipedia  

✵ 1. June 1928 – 29. December 2003
Bob Monkhouse: 17   quotes 6   likes

Famous Bob Monkhouse Quotes

“I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.”

Guardian obituary http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2003/dec/30/guardianobituaries.artsobituaries

“My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.”

Obituary in The Independent http://web.archive.org/web/20100507114758/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/bob-monkhouse-549171.html

“People always say: "You're a comedian, tell us a joke." They don't say: "You're an MP, tell us a lie."”

Independent on Sunday obituary http://web.archive.org/web/20100522031727/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/bob-monkhouse-jokewriter-to-the-stars-and-the-longreigning-king-of-primetime-comedy-dies-at-75-578058.html

“I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.”

Obituary in The Independent http://web.archive.org/web/20100507114758/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/bob-monkhouse-549171.html

“I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.”

Independent on Sunday obituary http://web.archive.org/web/20100522031727/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/bob-monkhouse-jokewriter-to-the-stars-and-the-longreigning-king-of-primetime-comedy-dies-at-75-578058.html

“I suddenly realised I could maybe occupy a different position because of age, a kind of acceptance.”

Obituary in The Independent http://web.archive.org/web/20100507114758/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/bob-monkhouse-549171.html

Bob Monkhouse Quotes

“When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now, are they?”

Second obituary on BBC news website http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/1958051.stm

“The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.”

Independent on Sunday obituary http://web.archive.org/web/20100522031727/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/bob-monkhouse-jokewriter-to-the-stars-and-the-longreigning-king-of-primetime-comedy-dies-at-75-578058.html

“I've always known that I polarise opinion. Some people respond with enthusiasm and affection. In others, I awaken a lot of hostility.”

Obituary in The Independent http://web.archive.org/web/20100507114758/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/bob-monkhouse-549171.html

“People who hadn't noticed me, or who had written me off as a game show host, started to reassess me. There were people who hadn't seen me as a stand-up artist and liked it. Suddenly I was in fashion again.”

Independent on Sunday obituary http://web.archive.org/web/20100522031727/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/bob-monkhouse-jokewriter-to-the-stars-and-the-longreigning-king-of-primetime-comedy-dies-at-75-578058.html

“No one watched it, not even the cameramen”

Of his first TV appearance
Obituary in The Independent http://web.archive.org/web/20100507114758/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/bob-monkhouse-549171.html

“I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.”

Second obituary on BBC news website http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/1958051.stm

“Silence is not only golden; it is seldom misquoted.”

Independent on Sunday obituary http://web.archive.org/web/20100522031727/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/bob-monkhouse-jokewriter-to-the-stars-and-the-longreigning-king-of-primetime-comedy-dies-at-75-578058.html

“Smarmy, plastic, oily, greasy, unctuous, shallow, superficial, old-fashioned, superannuated, crap”

Summing up opinions of him
Obituary in The Independent http://web.archive.org/web/20100507114758/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/bob-monkhouse-549171.html

“I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.”

Obituary on BBC news website http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/3353445.stm

“We used to say he had a computer in his head. His memory was astonishing.”

Barry Cryer, Independent on Sunday obituary http://web.archive.org/web/20100522031727/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/bob-monkhouse-jokewriter-to-the-stars-and-the-longreigning-king-of-primetime-comedy-dies-at-75-578058.html
About

Similar authors

Will Rogers photo
Will Rogers 121
American humorist and entertainer
Jerome K. Jerome photo
Jerome K. Jerome 87
English humorist
John Galsworthy photo
John Galsworthy 48
English novelist and playwright
Aldous Huxley photo
Aldous Huxley 290
English writer
Virginia Woolf photo
Virginia Woolf 382
English writer
Richard Aldington photo
Richard Aldington 5
English writer and poet
Arnold Schwarzenegger photo
Arnold Schwarzenegger 52
actor, businessman and politician of Austrian-American heri…
Terry Pratchett photo
Terry Pratchett 796
English author
Douglas Adams photo
Douglas Adams 317
English writer and humorist
T.S. Eliot photo
T.S. Eliot 270
20th century English author