Ben Croshaw: Trending quotes

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Ben Croshaw: 232 quotes0 likes

“I love having my conscious brain deactivated by a mindless repetitive task and the rest of it drifting off into the wonderful lands of make believe.”

3 April 2007
Fully Ramblomatic

“The national dress of Great Britain is, from the ground up, a pair of Roman sandals, a kilt, a gunbelt, a t-shirt bearing the likeness of Mr. T, a garland of flowers and a horned Viking helmet.”

How to be British
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“The cake is vanilla; I asked for chocolate; The tears They will not stop. (Prince of Persia: Emo Warrior)”

Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“I rolled my eyes at Rose, but she returned the look with a scowl which suggested that, if we ever got out of this alive, she would have some issues to address with myself and my polaroid camera.”

Source: Fullyramblomatic Novels, Articulate Jim: A Search For Something, Chapter Nine

“being invisible means you can immerse yourself in a crowd and start clasping boobs and buttocks, then leap aside and laugh as some poor chap gets a clip round the ear. Laugh quietly obviously. And changing rooms! You can sneak into changing rooms and sit right there in the middle of the place while pretty girls get wet and take all their clothes off. You could go and hide in the showers themselves, but since the water on your body wouldn't be invisible you'd have to rely on them not noticing a semi-transparent man appear in the corner. You could pretend to be a novelty glass statue, but you wouldn't be able to explain the developing glass stiffy.”

Why it would kick arse to be invisible http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/invis.htm <br class="br">Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Perfectly coloured to be camouflaged totally in a 60's living room, the zebra has powerful legs and a thirst for blood!”

Fight or Flight?
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“In answer to your first question, of course God was good in bed! He's perfect in every way! God not only knows the secret path to the clitoris, but he's also aware of a little nerve just underneath the right shoulder blade connected directly to a lady's pleasure centre!”

Ask Yahtzee 3
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“Quod Erat Demonstrandum, fuckers. (25 April 2005)”

Fully Ramblomatic

“A 'relationship' occurs when two people run out of things to say to each other, so they shut each other up by putting their genitals in each other's mouths. A break up comes about when they run out of things to do with those, too.”

11 November 2010
Fully Ramblomatic

“Is it just me, or are the number of comments steadily going down each week? Am I just losing my touch, or has everyone wised up and realised that commenting on internet videos is viciously futile?”

4 October 2009
Fully Ramblomatic

“Thinking about morality. If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler moustache?”

31 December 2010
Twitter

“This [article] doesn't mean that I actually want to be Lara Croft. In writing this I'm not admitting that I occasionally dress up in a tight top and khaki hotpants and prance around pointing two hairdryers at my dog. In this little article I am pointing out why, if you happen to be Lara Croft, that you should be very pleased with yourself.”

Why it would kick arse to be Lara Croft http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/lara.htm <br class="br">Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Saying that a smoker inhales over 4000 chemicals is as meaningful as saying that fun runners pass over 4000 different kinds of rock, and because that rock may contain dinosaur fossils, said fun runners are at risk of velociraptor attack.”

21 March 2007
Fully Ramblomatic

“Women admire naked women as the kind of body they would like to have, while men admire naked women as the kind of body they would like to have tied down and squealing on the end of their dicks.”

12 January 2005
Fully Ramblomatic

“Piss poo dangly shit arse fuck wee…. Fuck cunt willy willy wank piss mung.”

26 November 2004
Fully Ramblomatic

“With infinite choice at our fingertips, we don't have to expose ourselves for an instant to anything that challenges our views if we don't want to. So the walls of the echo chambers grow stronger and stronger, until we only hear from the echo chamber next door when the shouty extremists are shouting, and their absurd views only make us more convinced of our own righteousness.”

https://v1.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/video-games/columns/extra-punctuation/14200-Hatred-And-Postal-Are-Deliberately-Offensive-So-Stop-Caring
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