Ben Croshaw: Trending quotes (page 3)

“Ctrl+Alt+Del is the Rubbish King, sitting proudly on a throne of rotting meat.”

Ben Croshaw

http://au.gamespot.com/pages/news/show_blog_entry.php?topic_id=26300119
Other Articles

“I seem to have gathered a reputation for being a jerk in real life, because frankly fans make me uncomfortable. Complete strangers come up and talk to me like they've known me their whole lives, and for that reason I can seem a bit stand-offish… No, the whole "fan" thing confuses me.”

Ben Croshaw

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/interviews/6457-An-Exclusive-Interview-With-Yahtzee.3
Other Articles

Life , Jerk

“There's nothing I enjoy more than sitting down with a big piece of marmite on toast and reading through the archives of a good webcomic. The only problem is that the good webcomics are all hidden behind pile upon pile of testicle sweat masquerading as entertainment.”

Ben Croshaw

The Only Good Comics on the Internet
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

Problem , Reading

“We've learned that you should never trust English professors who stick computer chips in their arms, breakfast cereal mascots, Stephen King, the Borg collective, vegetarians, Christians, Microsoft Word helpers and people who put five exclamation marks on the ends of their statements.”

Ben Croshaw

I'm Off
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

People , Learning

“People followed Jesus, I think because they wanted to have sex with him. Ho yes, they so wanted some of that holy jiggy-jiggy! (cough) sorry. (Why it Would Kick Arse to be Jesus)”

Ben Croshaw

Source: Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

People , Sex , Thinking

“What was your favourite single player Quake level? One of the forty identical greenish-brown castles or one of the forty identical brownish-green castles?”

Ben Croshaw

2 December 2004
Fully Ramblomatic

“Valentines card idea: "You are my iron lung. Let me come inside you and breathe heavily."”

Ben Croshaw

10 October 2010
Twitter

Idea

“Winning the lottery is like slipping your hand into the bra of the most beautiful woman in the world, then getting it stuck and having to saw it off at the wrist.”

Ben Croshaw

Source: Fullyramblomatic Novels, Articulate Jim: A Search For Something, Chapter Eight

World , Beauty

“Christians are a funny lot, aren't they? It doesn't seem to matter what their God does, they'll just keep on loving him regardless.”

Ben Croshaw

8 November 2003
Fully Ramblomatic

Love , God

“[begin list of sophomoric puns] I bet he'd find a place up the chimney of any woman. He's certainly good at filling their stockings. Trouble is, he wouldn't be much good as a lover as he can only come once a year. [end list of sophomoric puns] (Why Chicks Dig Father Christmas)”

Ben Croshaw

Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

Lovers , Christmas

“Girls: Please do not offer yourself to Yahtzee. He found that this got old very fast.”

Ben Croshaw

Contact page http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/contact.htm
Fully Ramblomatic

Girl

“No book critic has ever tried to assess the Old Testament. Maybe they should. I did once. It's a crap story and it's very badly written.”

Ben Croshaw

Where God Went Wrong
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

God , Books

“I’d like the power to make things die with the power of my mind. Not because I have any specific use in mind for it; I just think it’d be useful to have for difficult social situations. Like, if you’re trying to sleep on a plane and a bloke three seats down is laughing really loudly at a film. Or if someone’s trying to make me say something nice about their hideous baby, it would be a good way to change the subject. But then again, that’s really just replacing one awkward social situation with another.”

Ben Croshaw

http://www.darkhorse.com/Blog/1125/interview-yahtzee-croshaw-about-jam
Other Articles

Way , Thinking , Sleep , Change

“If you honestly need the calendar to instruct you to show affection to your partner then what kind of loveless nightmare are you trapped in”

Ben Croshaw

14 February 2011
Twitter

“The presence of The Sean has a tendency to taint a film, I find, because he is never his character; he's always just The Sean.”

Ben Croshaw

The Leauge of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Fully Ramblomatic, Reviews

“The question that no-one ever asks in the Pokemon world is why that long-dead illustrious and ethical human being, having created the technology to store big things in very small things, decided to use this gimmick the way he did - storing potentially deadly ferocious animals with magic powers in a little thingy that you can hang off your belt. Because he wanted the power, that's why. He wanted to know the ecstasy of holding five deadly creatures round his waist. He probably got off on that sort of thing, the sick weirdo.”

Ben Croshaw

Why it would kick arse to be a Pokemon trainer http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/pokemon.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

World , Way , Question , Animals

“You couldn't make this any smaller without needing a sewing needle and magnifying glass to work it. I'm tempted to see if I can swallow it, and belch the White Album all the way home.”

Ben Croshaw

On his iPod Shuffle, 5 June 2007
Fully Ramblomatic

Way , Home

“Consider how The Dark Knight got away with a rating of PG-13 in the US by skilfully not showing any blood. Does that make it any more suitable for children? Or will there be a generation of youngsters haunted by visions of white-faced sadists brandishing pencils?”

Ben Croshaw

http://web.archive.org/web/20081015182445/http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,25642,24493980-5014239,00.html
Other Articles

Children

“You're never alone when you're totally self-absorbed.”

Ben Croshaw

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/interviews/6457-An-Exclusive-Interview-With-Yahtzee
Other Articles

“"Hey, mister professional game critic, have you ever heard of this obscure game called 'Deus Ex'?" This is why I hate reading my email.”

Ben Croshaw

12 September 2010
Twitter

Hate , Game , Reading