Ben Croshaw: Trending quotes

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Ben Croshaw: 232 quotes0 likes

“Today marks the completion of my twenty-third year on this foetid planet. Who would have thought I'd make it this long without dying of mercury poisoning or swallowing my own tongue or something like that.”

Ben Croshaw

24 May 2006
Fully Ramblomatic

“All I can say is this: either every single member of that army had been promised a blow job of the Gods as soon as they got their queen back, or the Greeks invented brainwashing. (On the Greeks and the Trojan War, 31 May 2004)”

Ben Croshaw

Fully Ramblomatic

“Humanity will be forever at war as long as there is no common enemy. World peace demands a new Hitler.”

Ben Croshaw

16 February 2010
Twitter

“Developers usually know their game's flaws better than anyone. Deadlines and publisher meddling are why they don't get fixed.”

Ben Croshaw

4 February 2010
Twitter

“So I'm eating Subway this evening when a beetle flies down and burrows into my sandwich. Never a bad time to start losing weight, is there.”

Ben Croshaw

6 October 2010
Twitter

“I feel bad when I'm the only person on the bus. It's like I'm the only person who showed up to the driver's birthday party.”

Ben Croshaw

28 June 2010
Twitter

“Guess you'd be better off going to the Escapist for regular ZP updates, hm? And why not click on some ads while you're there.”

Ben Croshaw

21 August 2008
Fully Ramblomatic

“Greek mythology tells us that the Gods invented woman as a punishment after man got a hold of some stolen goods. Obviously, this was just the mythological explanation given by the primitive early men to explain the real origin of women, which was this: THEY CAME DOWN IN SPACESHIPS. Yes, all women are space aliens who have come from a far-off galaxy to enslave mankind.”

Ben Croshaw

Ask Yahtzee
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“…you could pick any two writers of equal skill, have them read each other's work, and they would both instantly proclaim each other the champion. Unless one of them happens to be Stephen King, because he's a jerk.”

Ben Croshaw

God Ran Out of Faces
Fully Ramblomatic, Reviews

“I'd just like to point out that Billy Joel looks like the result of a depraved breeding experiment between Ringo Starr and the tall bloke from Everybody Loves Raymond.”

Ben Croshaw

7 July 2004
Fully Ramblomatic

“My secret? Hm. Well, I think the secret is this. Don't come up with a really ambitious twelve-CD monster for your first project, because it'll be doomed very quickly. For your very first release, make something small. Put as much effort into it as you can muster, but don't feel pressured. Then, for every subsequent release, push yourself just a little bit harder to make a better product. By the time you've churned out your sixth or seventh, you'll have a pretty solid reputation.”

Ben Croshaw

http://www.adventure-treff.de/artikel/interviews.php?id=30&lang=eng
Other Articles

“The zip on my wallet broke, sealing the money inside. How am I supposed to buy a new wallet?”

Ben Croshaw

29 January 2010
Twitter

“At this time I was hesitant to venture into the greenery, because I wasn't keen on the possibility of having spiders the size of basketballs drop onto my face from overhead branches and refuse to let go. (…) Hunger pains were moving to the 'excruciating' stage by mid-morning. After a last-ditch attempt to extract nutrients from filling my mouth with sand, I decided that, if a big spider the size of a basketball dropped onto my face and tried to eat it, I would eat it back and we could turn the whole thing into an exciting competition.”

Ben Croshaw

Source: Fullyramblomatic Novels, Fog Juice, Chapter Two

“The thing is, if you complain to me about it, you are basically complaining to the pig because your sausages were undercooked. I know my name is on the front of the cover in big fat serifed letters, but I've got nothing to do with distribution and sales or anything to do with Amazon. If you are dissatisfied with their service, then complain to them. Repeatedly. With sticks.”

Ben Croshaw

16 September 2010 in regards to Mogworld issues on Amazon.com
Fully Ramblomatic

“I believe in being cruel to be kind. I love gaming, I have done all my life. I want to see it lifted in the eyes of the general public above how they view it now. Pottering endlessly about with the same dreary plots and game mechanics isn't helping any of us evolve.”

Ben Croshaw

http://www.destructoid.com/destructoid-interview-ben-yahtzee-croshaw-69631.phtml
Other Articles

“But the cruellest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is flawless when it isn't.”

Ben Croshaw

23 March 2008
Fully Ramblomatic

“Also, you can't prove that there isn't a ghost of Bagpuss hovering right behind your head as you read this. He's right there, man! No, he disappeared right after you turned your head. I swear he's there. Look, he's back again now!”

Ben Croshaw

Meet the Crazy Moon Man
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“I used to be one of the guys, you know. I used to be another faceless contributor in a wall of opinion. I miss those days.”

Ben Croshaw

1 August 2008
Fully Ramblomatic

“The curtains were drawn, and the only source of light - indeed, the object to which my attention was suddenly exclusively drawn - was a lit candle on the kitchen table, that had probably originally been shaped like Snoopy but was now a mass of melted rivulets, as if Snoopy had fallen victim to some kind of flesh-eating virus.”

Ben Croshaw

Source: Fullyramblomatic Novels, Fog Juice, Chapter One

“Yes, I have been harvested by mainstream media for whatever time remains for television to still be called 'mainstream' before the internet destroys it once and for all.”

Ben Croshaw

14 February 2008
Fully Ramblomatic