Alison Bechdel: Doing

“Mrs. Pidgeon: That little girl whose mother is in the, um, "threesome." Why do you say she's confused about her gender? She seems perfectly normal to me.
Sparrow: Mom, she's a boy.
Mrs. Pidgeon: Oh. Well then, I'm not quite so worried about that revealing top. I was going to speak to her mother.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

"Replicants," supplement in Dykes and Sundry Other Carbon-Based Life Forms TWOF (2003).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Girl , Boy , Moms

“Cynthia: To be honest, I've been rethinking things lately. I mean, I'm still a Christian, but I'm definitely transitioning.
Janis: Really? Is your mom letting you do hormones? Mine won't.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#457, "Son Goddess" (2005), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Moms

“Cynthia: Of all the times to come out to your family, I had to do it right before the last presidential debate. Damn that John Kerry!
Ginger: Cynthia, I'm sorry your parents are having a meltdown, but it's hardly John Kerry's fault.
Cynthia: When he called Mary Cheney a lesbian, I felt like I had been drop-kicked.
Ginger: Well, Mary Cheney is a lesbian, and you're a political football.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#452, "Absolute Value" (2004), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Family , Parent , Time , Football

“Lois: [intercepting a man in the women's bookstore] Can I help you find something, sir?
Man: Um… just browsing.
Lois: Hmm… I find that publication rather tame myself. Have you ever seen this one? This month there's a hot photo spread of three totally tattooed babes with strap-ons doing an armpit shaving scene. And if you're looking for a real thrill, check out the story, "She Came in Waves," in this new female ejaculation anthology!
Man: 'Scuse me, I think I left my car at a hydrant.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#155, "Cultural Exchange" (1993), collected in Spawn of DTWOF (1993).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Women , Cars , Photo , Thinking

“Mo: The man's clearly a sex addict. He's out of control. Lying, suborning perjury…
Sydney: It's this puritanical culture that's the problem. Do people really expect someone with the ruthless lust for power it takes to become president to spend evenings at home with his stamp collection?
Mo: Oh, please! You wouldn't be quite so indulgent if it was Newt Gingrich getting blowjobs in the Oval Office.
Sydney: Thank you for that image.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#282, "Divert & Conquer" (1998), collected in Split-Level DTWOF (1998).
Dykes to Watch Out For

People , Sex , Home , Lying

“[A social worker has shown up to talk about Raffi's adoption during dinner with Toni's parents]
Sr. Ortiz: What's going on here?
Toni: Uh… mamá y papá, Gwynne… viene de la iglesia! ¡Sí, sí! Y viene para hablar… uh… del bautizo de Rafael! Decidimos que sería bueno que lo bautizaramos! (Mom, dad… Gwynne is… from the church! Yeah! And she's here to talk about, uh… Rafael's christening! We've decided to get him baptized!)
Sra. Ortiz: Gracias a Dios!
Sr. Ortiz: How very good of you to come, Sister.
Gwynne: Back at ya, brother! It's a pleasure in this day and age to meet folks who are so supportive of their daughter's decision.
Sra. Ortiz: That is unusual?! This country is even more wicked than I thought!
Gwynne: Yes, it's a shame, but many lesbians' parents tend to disapprove.
Sr. Ortiz: What does her being a … a homosexual have to do with it?
Gwynne: Exactly, Mr. Ortiz! If only more people felt like you!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#246, "The Converts" (1996), collected in Hot, Throbbing DTWOF (1997).
Dykes to Watch Out For

People , Pleasure , Age , Moms

“Lois: Good coffee, huh?
Emma: Lois, I think you're a very attractive woman and I'd like to sleep with you.
Lois: [chokes] Gak! Ahem! You don't - coff - fool around, do you?
Emma: No, but I'd like to.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#53, "Swept Away" (1989), collected in New, Improved! DTWOF (1990).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Fools , Coffee , Thinking , Sleep

“Bookstore boss: [to Mo] The self-service kiosks have enabled us to cut down on staff, but some customers still feel the need to speak to an actual human. That's where you come in.
Customer: Excuse me, do you carry Jewish New Year cards?
Boss: I'm sorry, our New Years cards don't come in till November. But we'll be getting Jewish Christmas cards then, too!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#425, "Rites of Fall" (2003), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Feeling , Christmas

“Thea: Didja make your quota, Lois?
Lois: Yup. Kissed a woman from every state in the union. Rhode Island was a drag queen, though. Do you think that counts?”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#161, "Afterglow" (1993), collected in Spawn of DTWOF (1993).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Kiss , Thinking

“Lois: Hey, Ginger! Are you masturbating in there or what? I wanna show you something!
Ginger: [in the tub] If I'm masturbating, will you leave me alone?
Lois: No! Check it out. How do I look?
Ginger: Like a white girl in a black bra.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#117, "Anticipation" (1991), collected in DTWOF: The Sequel (1992).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Girl

“Ginger: I can't do this, Lois! I can't go out with a woman who has a child! I'm too young, I tell you! I haven't sown my oats yet!
Lois: I think your oats are impacted.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#370, "Not-for-Profit Motive" (2001), collected in Dykes and Sundry Other Carbon-Based Life Forms TWOF (2003).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Thinking

“Sydney: [proposing to Mo] Will you do me the honor of paradoxically reinscribing and destabilizing hegemonic discourse with me?”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#436, "Get Me to the Clerk on Time" (2004), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Sparrow: Listen, Mo. I have been doing crisis intervention with battered, homeless women and kids all week long. Tonight, I am going to vegetate in front of the TV. If you're so worried about Bosnia, go join the Red Cross.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#157, "Diversions" (1993), collected in Spawn of DTWOF (1993).
Dykes to Watch Out For

Women

“Samia: I'm all the trouble you need. Do you know why I invited you here?
Ginger: For the Brussels sprouts tartare?
Samia: For the long, discreet tablecloths.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#432, "Entertaining a Fantasy" (2004), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Stuart: Will you explain to me what these lesbian and gay groups are doing in bed with conservative Republicans?
Lois: Getting reamed. But they seem to like it.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#301, "Buyer's Remorse" (1998), collected in Post-DTWOF (2000).
Dykes to Watch Out For