Alison Bechdel: Trending quotes

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Alison Bechdel: 116 quotes3 likes

“Cynthia: To be honest, I've been rethinking things lately. I mean, I'm still a Christian, but I'm definitely transitioning.
Janis: Really? Is your mom letting you do hormones? Mine won't.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#457, "Son Goddess" (2005), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Cynthia: Of all the times to come out to your family, I had to do it right before the last presidential debate. Damn that John Kerry!
Ginger: Cynthia, I'm sorry your parents are having a meltdown, but it's hardly John Kerry's fault.
Cynthia: When he called Mary Cheney a lesbian, I felt like I had been drop-kicked.
Ginger: Well, Mary Cheney is a lesbian, and you're a political football.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#452, "Absolute Value" (2004), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Sparrow: Oh my God. I'm a trained professional. I can't believe I didn't see it sooner! The mind games… the use of isolation… the accusations about being unfaithful… the obsessive keeping track… preventing the other person from getting a job… Stuart, we're in an abusive relationship with the Bush administration!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#440, "Too Much Information" (2004), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Carlos: Manly-Man Training Academy, Butch speaking! … OH! Señor Ortiz! Sí, this is Toni's number. …¿¡De qué estás hablando?! ¡No! I'm not the father! I'm just the babysitter, I swear! ¿Qué?! You want me to marry your daughter?”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

Well okay, but I'm keeping my own name!
#232, "A Smidge Too Far" (1996), collected in Hot, Throbbing DTWOF (1997).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Toni: Well… straight couples get respect when they marry. Maybe we need to make some kind of symbolic affirmation of our commitment to one another!
Clarice: You mean…
Toni: Yes! Let's open a joint checking account!
Clarice: Oh, darling! But this is so sudden!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#7, "Getting Respectable" (1987), collected in More DTWOF (1988).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Raffi: Okay, it's time to make another deposit to my therapy fund.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#458, "Below the Law" (2005), collected in The Essential DTWOF (2008).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Toni: Mamá… MAMÁ! I'm paying peak long-distance rates here. Could you save the Hail Marys until we hang up?”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#236, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" (1996), collected in Hot, Throbbing DTWOF (1997).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Lois: [intercepting a man in the women's bookstore] Can I help you find something, sir?
Man: Um… just browsing.
Lois: Hmm… I find that publication rather tame myself. Have you ever seen this one? This month there's a hot photo spread of three totally tattooed babes with strap-ons doing an armpit shaving scene. And if you're looking for a real thrill, check out the story, "She Came in Waves," in this new female ejaculation anthology!
Man: 'Scuse me, I think I left my car at a hydrant.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#155, "Cultural Exchange" (1993), collected in Spawn of DTWOF (1993).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Mo: The man's clearly a sex addict. He's out of control. Lying, suborning perjury…
Sydney: It's this puritanical culture that's the problem. Do people really expect someone with the ruthless lust for power it takes to become president to spend evenings at home with his stamp collection?
Mo: Oh, please! You wouldn't be quite so indulgent if it was Newt Gingrich getting blowjobs in the Oval Office.
Sydney: Thank you for that image.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#282, "Divert & Conquer" (1998), collected in Split-Level DTWOF (1998).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Mo: Ginger, how can you think about sex at a time like this? Madmen are about to destroy the earth!
Ginger: Can you think of a better time? I don't know about you, girl, but I want to have a G-spot orgasm before Armageddon hits.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#92, "Crisis Management" (1990), collected in DTWOF: The Sequel (1992).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Nurse: Ker… Kru… Crutchoffski, breast conservation? How are we feeling?
Sydney: A bit like an endangered wetland.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#416, "The Basic Anxiety" (2003), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Mo: Toni, come on! I know you're in a lot of pain, but you hafta look at the grand scheme of things! Listen, the environment is polluted beyond the point of no return, nickels and dimes are allocated for AIDS research while billions go into radar systems for blowing up civilians in the Persian Gulf, and we've got to spend the next two months being assaulted with hypocritical hype as two morally bankrupt white boys gear up for another electoral farce! Having a rough time in your relationship kinda pales in comparison, huh?
Toni: Gee, Mo… thanks. I can always count on you.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#40, "The Big Picture" (1988), collected in New, Improved! DTWOF (1990).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“[A social worker has shown up to talk about Raffi's adoption during dinner with Toni's parents]
Sr. Ortiz: What's going on here?
Toni: Uh… mamá y papá, Gwynne… viene de la iglesia! ¡Sí, sí! Y viene para hablar… uh… del bautizo de Rafael! Decidimos que sería bueno que lo bautizaramos! (Mom, dad… Gwynne is… from the church! Yeah! And she's here to talk about, uh… Rafael's christening! We've decided to get him baptized!)
Sra. Ortiz: Gracias a Dios!
Sr. Ortiz: How very good of you to come, Sister.
Gwynne: Back at ya, brother! It's a pleasure in this day and age to meet folks who are so supportive of their daughter's decision.
Sra. Ortiz: That is unusual?! This country is even more wicked than I thought!
Gwynne: Yes, it's a shame, but many lesbians' parents tend to disapprove.
Sr. Ortiz: What does her being a … a homosexual have to do with it?
Gwynne: Exactly, Mr. Ortiz! If only more people felt like you!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#246, "The Converts" (1996), collected in Hot, Throbbing DTWOF (1997).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Mo: My sister-in-law had her baby! I'm an aunt! My brother's a father! My mother's a grandma! My dad's a…
Sydney: I think I can generalize from there.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#324, "Trite and True" (1999), collected in Post-DTWOF (2000).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Lois: Good coffee, huh?
Emma: Lois, I think you're a very attractive woman and I'd like to sleep with you.
Lois: [chokes] Gak! Ahem! You don't - coff - fool around, do you?
Emma: No, but I'd like to.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#53, "Swept Away" (1989), collected in New, Improved! DTWOF (1990).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Mo: [to Anjali] Don't you "whatever" me, you postmodern prepubescent!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#275, "Handling It" (1997), collected in Split-Level DTWOF (1998).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Mo: Clarice, you've gotta reconcile your feelings about leaving the neighborhood. It's not Ginger you're attracted to, it's what she represents. The co-op, the park, the block festival, the community!
Clarice: Oh, so it's really the community's inner thighs I want to drizzle with maple crème anglaise, which I then slowly lap up while straddling the tantalizing tongue of the co-op.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#297, "Stray Voltage" (1998), collected in Split-Level DTWOF (1998).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Mo: I miss the good old days. Smash the family! Smash the state!
Sydney: What about Clarice and Toni and Raffi? D'you want to smash their family?
Mo: Please, Sydney. I'm expressing an ideological conviction, not talking about real people.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#305, "The Baby Question" (1999), collected in Post-DTWOF (2000).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Bookstore boss: [to Mo] The self-service kiosks have enabled us to cut down on staff, but some customers still feel the need to speak to an actual human. That's where you come in.
Customer: Excuse me, do you carry Jewish New Year cards?
Boss: I'm sorry, our New Years cards don't come in till November. But we'll be getting Jewish Christmas cards then, too!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#425, "Rites of Fall" (2003), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Lois: You're never gonna meet anyone hanging around here with the tactical nuclear family.”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#419, "The Candidate" (2003), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005).
Dykes to Watch Out For