Quotes from book

Witches Abroad

“Stories don't care who takes part in them. All that matters if that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself.”

“People whose wishes get granted often don't turn out to be very nice people.”

“The trouble with witches is that they’ll never run away from things they really hate.

And the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose.”

“Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because—what with trolls and dwarfs and so on—speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.”

“I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol.
"That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either.”

“Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. She believed that the world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they controlled you. But if you studied them, if you found out about them… you could use them, you could change them.”

“Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.”

“Good and bad is tricky," she said. "I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face.”

“You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage.”

“It's daft, locking us up," said Nanny. "I'd have had us killed."
"That's because you're basically good," said Magrat. "The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.”

“Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?”

“Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.”

“Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.”

“You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. Besides you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and giving decent girls away to frogs.”

“Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is.”

“Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.”

“People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around.”

“Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.”

“Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.”