Quotes from work

Possible Side Effects

“The most I would do was use the shadow tool in Photoshop to bring out the muscular rips in my stomach, which were honestly there. Beneath the fat.”

Augusten Burroughs Possible Side Effects

Source: Possible Side Effects

“Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.”

Augusten Burroughs Possible Side Effects

Source: Possible Side Effects

“Everybody in recovery smokes. If you don't like smoking, don't even bother trying to get sober. Just stay drunk.”

Augusten Burroughs Possible Side Effects

Source: Possible Side Effects

“Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch the school bus because I knew I'd trip and then get teased for a year.”

Augusten Burroughs Possible Side Effects

Source: Possible Side Effects

“Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people.”

Augusten Burroughs Possible Side Effects

Source: Possible Side Effects

“Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her.”

Augusten Burroughs Possible Side Effects

Source: Possible Side Effects