Quotes from book

Going Postal

“Moist was sure doctors keep skeletons around to cow patients. Nyer, nyer, we know what you look underneath…”

“Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong… But it might.”

“Soon to come in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries.”

“In defiance of Miss Maccalariat I'd like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart… well, certainly hanky, and possibly panky when we get to know one another better.”

“If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself.”

“They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man's mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that, in the morning, it will be in a body that is going to be hanged.”

“See a pin and pick it up, and, all day long, you'll have a pin.”

“There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.”

“If he'd been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, "That's what I call sorted!" Since he wasn't a hero, he threw up.”

“And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.”

“You know how to pray, don’t you? Just put your hands together and hope.”

“Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.”

“Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.”

“Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.”

“I commend my soul to any god that can find it.”

“Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.”

“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”

“Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?”

“What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.”