Quotes from book
America

Jon Stewart

America : A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction is a 2004 humor book written by Jon Stewart and other writers of The Daily Show that parodies and satirizes American politics and worldview. It has won several awards, and generated some controversy.

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“30 AD: Death penalty debate heats up after controversial execution of alleged "Son of God."”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)

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“Dedication: To the huddled masses, keep yearnin!”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)

Jon Stewart photo

“Through most of colonial history, inhabitants of the 13 colonies were loyal subjects of the British crown — resourceful, dedicated and as the Third Duchess of Kent… was fond of saying, "Some tea-drinkin' motherfuckahs." In fact, whenever the subject of the New World was mentioned, the Duchess could always be counted on for a wistful head-shake and a hearty "Motherfuckahs love that motherfuckin' tea."”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)

Jon Stewart photo

“But on what basis should the three branches of government be divided? It came down to two dueling ideas: Madison's proposal of an executive, judicial and legislative branch, and Georgia's Joseph Morton's proposal to dole out power according to, "The presence, forbearance, rectictude and largeosity of one's 'Plums and Carrot'." After much deliberation, it was decided Madison's proposal would be accepted, Morton only relenting after the Constitutional Convention agreed to proclaim him "impressive."”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)

Jon Stewart photo

“1300 BC: God gives Ten Commandments to Israelites, making them His Chosen People and granting them eternal protection under Divine Law. Nothing bad ever happens to Jews again.”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)

Jon Stewart photo

“If the presidency is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract.”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)
Context: If the presidency is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings may be mysterious and unpleasant, but in the end they excrete a great deal of material whose successful passage is crucial to our nation's survival.

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“May 3, 325: Rome built.”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)

Jon Stewart photo

“Why no women, blacks, or non-Christians have answered the founders' challenge is a mystery, though most indications point to some inherent genetic flaw.”

Jon Stewart book America

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (2004)
Context: By far the most revolutionary aspect of this new position [of the presidency] would be who could hold it. The short answer: just about anyone. By placing no explicit race, gender, or religious requirements on the presidency, the Founders opened the door to a true meritocracy. Why no women, blacks, or non-Christians have answered the founders' challenge is a mystery, though most indications point to some inherent genetic flaw. (William Howard Taft came closest, having what most observers agreed were boobs.)

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