“Half the trouble in life is caused by pretending there isn't any.”

“I'm so tired of pretending my life isn't perfect and bitching and just winning every second.”

“Politics should not be used to create hatred because the country is in trouble now. Don't take this opportunity to cause any further trouble.”

“In vain, therefore, should we pretend to determine any single event, or infer any cause or effect, without the assistance of observation and experience.”

“The trouble with us in America isn't that the poetry of life has turned to prose, but that it has turned to advertising copy.”

“Suicide is another thing that's so frowned upon in this society, but honestly, life isn't for everybody. It really isn't. It's sad when kids kill themselves 'cause they didn't really give it a chance, but life is like a movie: if you've sat through more than half of it and it sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the very end for you and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early.”

“Half of life is lost in charming others.
The other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others.
Leave this play. You have played enough.”

“One of the troubles is this: the heart isn't heart-shaped.”

“I know the police cause you trouble
They cause trouble everywhere
But when you die and go to heaven
You find no policeman there”

“The trouble in the world is nearly all due to the fact that one-half of the people are men, and the other half women.”