“Sorry I painted the word 'twat' on your garage door.”

“"Mulla, I want to borrow your donkey."
"I am sorry," said the Mulla, "but I have already lent it out."
As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasrudin's stable.
"But Mulla, I can hear the donkey, in there!"
As he shut the door in the man's face, Nasrudin said, with dignity, "A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything."”

“Hi wogboy (sorry, but I still hate that w word).”

“Her last painting was of you, slouching against the front door: only your drowning I-had-a-lousy-Third-World-childhood-and-all-I-got-was-this-attitude eyes recognizable.”

“I love you and I always will and I am sorry. What a useless word.”

“In a relationship, the word 'sorry' is worth more than gold. However, the more it's mentioned the lesser your love and affection becomes.”

“I paint what I see in America, in other words I paint the American scene.”

“Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course.”

“In Germany, it's, let's say it's 5:59 and you're heading for the bakery or whatever and it's due to close at 6. The German will walk right up to that door and close it right in your face, they will lock it on the other side of that glass door with a shrug, like "sorry". A [South] Korean would never do that, ever. And, and this is what I like about them.”

“I'd have to lock the door of the paint room. He wouldn't allow anyone in. I was like a prisoner.”