“3. You think that looks like a heart? If you do, that's only because you've never seen scrotum.”

“If you can't believe in things that you've never seen, how then do you know you have a brain? You've never seen it. If you can look at this miraculous Creation and insist that there's no Creator, then you'd also have to say there's no evidence that your brain exists.”

“I don't like to write like God. It is only because you never do it, though, that the critics think you can't do it.”

“Just because you've seen something doesn't mean you'll stop looking. There's always something you didn't see before.”

“Never think you've seen the last of anything.”

“The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.”

“The people do not complain because they have no voice; do not move because they are lethargic, and you say that they do not suffer because you have not seen their hearts bleed.”

“I think there are pieces of me you've never seen.”

“Writer: I don’t know whether you've ever looked into a miner's eyes – for any length of time, that is. Because it is the loveliest blue you've ever seen. I think perhaps that's why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.”

“Do you know, every time I've seen you you've been like the Grim Reaper of goodwill and cheer. You should find another profession.”