“This is Ian. He's no' usually speechless. Or so well dressed."
-Conner
I shouldna wear my best clothes to meet an angel from heaven?"
-Ian
"You look very nice, I love your shirt."
-Marielle
"Thank you"
-Ian
"I have a shirt like that, too."
-Conner”

“When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.”

“Yeah. Look at the space, Ian! Look at the space! Oh, great strike. But, look at this Ian. How bad is that? Simple, no? Ugh! Yes, he gets a bit lucky. That's a lovely strike by Toni Kroos. But is anybody going to close down? Is anybody going to be, make it hard to beat? Are they going to be organized, Brazil? Because at the moment it looks as if eleven players are just running around the field with no idea. Yeah.”

“Alice In Chains: Love, Sex, Pain And Suffering… Interview conducted by Ian McFarlane in 1991”

“I think right about now I should answer some questions that are probably on your mind. You're probably thinking to yourself, 'Janeane, why are you not wearing the half-shirt that you're usually so fond of wearing? Because when we see you we like to see the half shirt.' You know I'm very fond of that and I'm fond of the low-slung jean and the thong, as you know. In fact when I go into a bar and I see ladies wearing the low-slung jeans and the half-shirts, I go up to them and say, 'On behalf of everyone here, thank you. Thank you!' 'Hey, pretty lady, are you wearing a thong? What a creative way to create favor with the opposite sex. That is so exciting. Let me understand the dynamic of the thong: so there's just a slender thread that just resides in your nether region for the better part of the day - just a string that rides in your anatomical hinterlands… it just hangs in there all day at work and then all day at the bar, so I can see how the gentlemen find that so exciting.'… Don't 'ooh' me, I'm not the one with the thong!”

“Well? You just repeat yourself all the time, don't you? Ian, how bad is it in this goal? Look, space. Who's picking Philipp Lahm up? Nobody, nobody. The crowd venting their anger, yet again.”

“Lacuna peered at my shirt. "Aer-O-Smith. Arrowsmith. Does the shirt belong to your weapon dealer?"

"No."

"Then why do you wear the shirt of someone else's weapon dealer?”

“I'm 65; I couldn't just wear a normal suit, a nice shirt and tie. Because I don't want to look that old - I want to look at least 10 years younger.”

“A cop won't pick you up for vagrancy in Los Angeles if you wear a fancy polo shirt and a pair of sunglasses. But if there is dust on your shoes and that sweater you wear is thick like the sweaters they wear in the snow countries, he'll grab you.”

“I’m not my name. My name is something I wear, like a shirt. It gets worn. I outgrow it, I change it.”