“I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.”

Steven Wright Special (1985)

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Steven Wright178

American actor and author 1955

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“And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
The handkerchiefs that cost me three shillings or so -
And that seems a lot for poor Uncle John
And anything goes to blow noses on. Talking of noses, hers is red enough.
I know what I'll buy her. A nice powder puff. Now she can't powder her nose with a grand piano.
Nor yet with a sewing machine.
She can't powder her nose with an Ingersoll watch -
Well that's silly, you know what I mean.
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She'll find that a little bit rough.
So I'll pop round to Woolworth's tomorrow, God bless her
And buy her a nice powder puff. And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
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I'll not buy her a powder puff at all - no.
I'll just send her my kindest regards.”

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“The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.”

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On liquid diets, in New York Herald Tribune (29 December 1960).

“The army and navy had plenty of bad powder and worthless vessels in fact, material for half a dozen powder-boats if necessary. I don't know whether the general claimed the powder-boat as an original idea, but there is nothing new under the sun, and such a means of attack has been employed before.”

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“Remember, remember the fifth of November of gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gun powder treason should ever be forgot.”

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“I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir.”

David Bowie (1947–2016) British musician, actor, record producer and arranger

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“I also know there are timeless waters, endless seas, and lots of people in this world whose names don't matter to anyone but themselves. I look up at the sky and I see you there.”

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“I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.”

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Steven Wright178

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