
“I spit on my life.
Death in battle would be better for me
than that I, defeated, survive.”
This statement is made in reference to his battle against the personification of temptation to evil, Mara.
Source: Pali Canon, Sutta Pitaka, Khuddaka Nikaya (Minor Collection), (Suttas falling down), Sutta 3.2. Padhana Sutta