“Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.”

“As night is coming and my strength is exhausted, with no hope of anything better, I have only to display the meager harvest that I have accidentally picked.”

“If I work hard and am rewarded, then I haven't really gained anything. It has been a trade: I've put in, and I've gotten back. Only if I am rewarded without having done anything have I actually come out ahead. The best way to gain the most is to do nothing.”

“It's not going to interfere with the film. I heal miraculously. I've been in an auto accident and another fire. They thought I'd need plastic surgery, but I haven't a scar…No, I don't think I'm accident prone, but it's strange.”

“I've banged half the girls in this room, and that is fuckin' not true. I haven't banged anyone here. I've put my pinky in your butts, couple of you.”

“I have a good mind not to take Aloysius to Venice. I don't want him to meet a lot of horrid Italian bears and pick up bad habits.”

“Am I the only one who is sick and tired of being told to pick up my trash when we have plenty of janitors who are paid to do it for us.”

“I had an accident."

"That seemes to happen a lot."

"It wasn't my fault."

"It never is."

"I just have bad luck."

"Or you're just trouble."

"You got a problem with that?"

"No problem at all."

"Oh my God! Are you going to help or not?”

“But, wait,
Oh, it's much too late
Oh, and I cannot be walking home
Until I've found my love.”

“Just like a photograph,
I pick you up.
Just like a station on the radio,
I pick you up.”