“Tell you what, you let me go, and I’ll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I’m slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me.”

“Listen to me, Siddalee, and listen good: There is no excuse to let your looks go, no matter how poor you are. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, but honey let me tell you, ugliness will get you nowhere.”

“Now you know I’m a reporter, so you might as well answer my question truthfully, or I’ll just keep asking it until you lose your mind. (Susan)”

“No, well, first of all let me tell you that it is carefully, because you never know when the little elf of the bottle is going to get out of it and will hit you with it and will let you watching little stars.”

“Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we're going forward to tomorrow or whether we're going to go past to the back! … That's a Hoosierism. You've got to get used to that!”

“I don’t even know what an atheist is. When people ask me if I’m an atheist, I have to ask them what they mean. What is it that I’m supposed to not believe in? Until you can answer that question I can’t tell you whether I’m an atheist, and the question doesn’t arise. […] I don’t see how one can be an agnostic when one doesn’t know what it is that one is supposed to believe in, or reject.”

“When were you going to tell me?"
He demanded. "Tell you what? That you can be a real asshole? How about right now.”

“I’m sorry, Eve. I love you. I’m not letting you do this.”
She screamed and battered harder. “You love me? You asshole! Let me go!”

“If you must tell me your opinions, tell me what you believe in. I have plenty of douts of my own.”

“If you need to talk about your childhood, you’re safe with me. If you need to break into a million pieces, I’m right here, Lev. I’ll find them all, I’m good at details, and I’ll put you back together. You’re safe here.”