“How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire.”

“"Or maybe she's trying to take the attention off you," Simon said, almost absently. "You know since your parents don't know you're gay and all."
Alec stopped in the middle of the road so suddenly that Simon almost crashed into him. "No," he said, "but apparently everyone else does."”

“I was looking for Simon."
Jordan squinted at her. "It's two in the morning."
She shrugged. "He's a vampire."
"But I'm not.”

“Gay brothers and sisters,…You must come out. Come out… to your parents… I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives… come out to your friends… if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors… to your fellow workers… to the people who work where you eat and shop… come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are becoming scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene.”

“Over the years all these vampire movies have come out and nobody looks like a vampire anymore.”

“She made an impatient noise. "By the Angel, you don't know anything about your kid, do you? Do you even really know how vampires are made?"
"Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much…”

“You can't cling to the side your whole life, that one lesson every parent needs to teach a child is "If you don't want to sink, you better figure out how to swim”

“A musician is similar to someone who wrote a letter to the loved one. Then decided to read it out loud instead of sending it.”

“Out of the sewer, literal vampire pot bellied goblins are hobbling around coming after us!”

“Vampires don't live at all," she points out, "neither do we."
She has me there. "Fine, I'll go. But when Kurt leads his minions in a march around the cemetary with our heads on sticks, don't say I didn't warn you.”