“Happy valentines day. All I have is my hampster and my steroids.”
Related quotes

Coming Out Speech (2014)
Context: There are too many kids out there suffering from bullying, rejection, or simply being mistreated because of who they are. Too many dropouts. Too much abuse. Too many homeless. Too many suicides. You can change that and you are changing it. But you never needed me to tell you that. That’s why this was a little bit weird. The only thing I can really say is what I’ve been building up to for the past five minutes. Thank you. Thank for inspiring me. Thank you for giving me hope, and please keep changing the world for people like me. Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.

Source: Argentina: Hebe de Bonafini and "Las Madres…" (Carlos López, US; ex-Chile) http://cgi.stanford.edu/group/wais/cgi-bin/?p=8609; Some rights groups have misguided agendas http://www.cubanet.org/CNews/y01/oct01/15e9.htm (in spanish language: Los aplausos al terrorismo http://www.lanacion.com.ar/nota.asp?nota_id=343519, La Nación, 2001).

“Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, extortion day. ”

"A Child's Hymn of Praise," from Hymns for Infant Minds (1810).

Jane Taylor, "A Child's Hymn of Praise," from Hymns for Infant Minds (1810)
Misattributed