“Today I read your autobiography in two volumes, Living My Life.”

“The way I would live my life is: never do something in real life that I would not want to write about in my Autobiography.”

“To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.”

“I was too busy doing my job and living my life to spend time keeping notes for some future volume of memoirs.”

“My Autobiography, New York, C. Scribner's Sons, 1928. Reprinted in Benito Mussolini, My Rise And Fall, Volumes 1-2 Da Capo Press, 1998 (p.40).”

“The eighteenth-century polymath Thomas Young was the last person to have read all the books published in his lifetime. That means that he would've read all the Shakespeare and all the Greek and Roman classics and all the theology and all the philosophy and all the science. But the same man today, a man who had read all the books published today, would've had to've read all Dan Brown's novels, two volumes of Chris Moyles' autobiography, The World According to Clarkson by Jeremy Clarkson, The World according to Clarkson II by Jeremy Clarkson, The World according to Clarkson III by Jeremy Clarkson… his mind would be awash with bad metaphors and unsustainable, reactionary opinion; one long anecdote about the time that Comedy Dave put a pound coin in the urinal. In short, the man who had read everything published today would be more stupid than a man who had read nothing. That's not a good state of affairs.”

“I don't want to know about my biggest idols. I don't want to read their autobiographies, I don't want to find out what they're really like.”

“A novelist has two lives-- a reading and writing life, and a lived life. he or she cannot be understood at all apart from this.”

“It is not my purpose to attempt a real autobiography. I simply want to tell the story of my experiments with truth…as my life consists of nothing but those experiments.”

“You live your life today,
Not tomorrow,
and certainly not yesterday.”