“I did not ask for objections, but for comments, or helpful suggestions. I looked for more loyalty from you, Captain Hornblower.”

“The answer is no, I would rather marry the Demon King himself than marry you. I
suggest you look elsewhere for a bride. And heaven help the one you choose.”

“ARE YOU CRAZY?" I ASKED.
He gave me the same wordless look he always did when I asked that question.”

“Look, I asked you here for a reason. Much as I hate to admit it, vampire, we have something in common."
"Totally awesome hair?" Simon suggested.”

“[referring to a suggestive comment aimed at the audience] You too, ladies.”

“Where were you, he asked her, when I needed you the most? Did you ever hold me in your arms? Did you feed me? Did you ever look for me? Did you wonder where I might be?”

“I need something, Wax. A place to look. You always did the thinking.”
“Yes, having a brain helps with that, surprisingly.”

“I come to you tonight with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we try to "accentuate the positive." I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort.”

“I look down from the branch I'm perched on. The Careers look murderous. Now I smile.'How have things been with you?' I ask sweetly.”

“My wife […] recently put me on a diet after suggesting (a little unkindly, if you ask me), that I was beginning to look like something Richard Branson would try to get airborne.”