“Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea”

“Asking a sociologist to solve a problem is like prescribing an enema for diarrhea.”

“I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.”

“Think. You have had your dealings with our bureaucracy. It is impossible not to, especially if one is a foreigner. Believe me, when we set our minds to it we can tangle, obstruct, and bring to a dead halt a herd of stampeding elephants.”

“Intuitions Comes First, Strategic Reasoning Second
Central Metaphor
The mind is divided, like a rider on a elephant, and the rider's job is to serve the elephant.”

“A camel makes an elephant feel like a jet plane.”

“But this should serve as a reminder to brides of the importance of discouraging reception guests from discharging their firearms unless they have a good reason, such as the band vocalist attempting to perform "I Will Always Love You" in the official Whitney Houston Diarrhea of the Vowels version ("And IIIIIIeeeeeIIIIIIIII, will alwaaaaays love yoooooeeeeeeeooooooouuuuueeeeeeeeeoooooo" BANG)”

“I feel like a carton of eggs holding up an elephant.”

“After secretly observing the unstudied grace of her movements, the most celebrated picture-maker of the province burned the implements of his craft, and began life anew as a trainer of performing elephants.”

“He frowned as he struggled to remember. It was like watching an elephant crochet.”