“Did you know that when a baby poops its diaper, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?”

“But I know, as beatific as Gandhi was, there was somebody in a Bombay bar going, "I knew Gandhi…he was a prick. I saw him sucking down a pork hot dog, hitting on Mother Teresa. He kept saying, 'Who's your diaper daddy? Who's your diaper daddy?'"”

“It's funny, when you're a child you think time will never go by, but when you hit about twenty, time passes like you're on the fast train to Memphis. I guess life just slips up on everybody. It sure did on me.”

“I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be.
A little gambling is fun when you're with me (I love it).
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun.
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun, fun.”

“Well…like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again…”

“Cause there's a time when you're right
And you know you must fight,
Who's laughing, baby? Don't you know?
And there's a choice that we make,
And a choice you must take,
Who's laughing, baby?”

“You're flirting with time baby
Flirting with time, but maybe,
Time baby, is catching up with you.”

“Did you know that baby,
You're the bluebird in my sky,
I only want to make you happy
Because I love you see you fly”

“When you're soulmates, it hits you like lightning, and you know that's the one person in the world you were meant to be with. You don't think you're soulmates; you just know it's your destiny whether you like it or not.”

“It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way."
"Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.”