“My first question [upon ascending to Heaven], believe it or not, will be, 'Did Adam and Eve have a belly button?' I don't know why, but that has bothered me for years.”

“God is the CEO of our lives. Therefore, Adam and Eve were the first people to be fired from heaven.”

“When our first parents were driven out of Paradise, Adam is believed to have remarked to Eve: "My dear, we live in an age of transition."”

“I get paid to ask questions I don't know the answers to and to complain about the things that bother me.”

“I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.”

“Well, why did you kill Jeremiah? And don't bother feeding me some story about how you just happened to wander along after he spontaneously died. I know you did this.”

“People usually asked her if she had a belly button. Of course she had a belly button. She couldn't explain how. She didn't really want to know.”

“Until recently, the question was 'Why can't a woman be more like a man?' It should have been changed to 'Why can't both sexes be more like the best parts of each other?' Instead, the pendulum swung to the 1960s feminist lapel button Adam Was a First Draft. True enough. So are we all.”

“Since Adam and Eve were fired or cast out of heaven, we have all become unemployed from that day forward.”

“Why do you bother asking, when you know the answer and you also know that you don't intend to believe it?”