“A hat not much the worse for wear.”

“Some people think I always wear the hat, but that's not true. Sometimes I don't wear the hat. It makes me laugh that some people think I always wear the hat, because obviously I don't wear the hat all the time. What about when I sleep or take a shower? I don't wear the hat then. Also, I don't wear the hat to go to Millets.”

“A politician is a politician whether he's wearing a suit or a funny hat.”

“I wear my hat as I please, indoors or out.”

“all day long
wearing a hat
that wasn't on my head”

“Kids: If a bear is wearing a ranger hat, it's because he ate the ranger!”

“You mean the kids wearing the MAGA hats? That’s a rather Nazi take you’ve offered there. MAGA hats = Nazis. Nazis deserve to be punched.”

“Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.”

“If you're going to wear three hats, you'd better grow two more heads.”

“They've started this filthy floodlit cricket with cricketers wearing tin hats and advertisements for contraceptives on their boots.”