“Jews can't eat pork - surely anal delights are way higher up on the list of taboos.”

“It’s awful to think of people eating dogs, but some people eat pork. I don’t, but some people do. And a pig is just like a dog, there is no difference between them.”

“Do you like to eat things?
-I love eating. I list it as a hobby.”

“And sure, I know if you eat this way you'll die. So? If you don't eat this way you're still going to die. Why not die happy?”

“I take my title from the name the Jews have traditionally given the Roman Empire. You may expect to meet all manner of wickedness in what follows - pork-eating, lechery, adultery, bigamy, sodomy, bestiality, the most ingenious varieties of cruelty, assassination, the worship of false gods and the sin of being uncircumcised.”

“If there's a God out there, then i would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork.”

“Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One must eat muffins quite calmly, it is the only way to eat them.”

“Giving up is the only sure way to fail.”

“You can't eat hope,' the woman said.
You can't eat it, but it sustains you,' the colonel replied.”

“It doesn't seem to matter what we think… The prince will come up here and look at us as if we're barrels in a trader's wagon. And if I'm salt pork and he doesn't care for salt pork, then there's nothing I can do.”