“A friend bought two cakes for his wife's birthday, with a "3" on one and an "8" on the other.
Store clerk: Oh, do you have twins?
Bill's friend: Yup, my wife was in labor for five years.”

—  Bill Engvall

Here's Your Sign: Live! (2004)
Here's Your Sign

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

Help us to complete the source, original and additional information

Do you have more details about the quote "A friend bought two cakes for his wife's birthday, with a "3" on one and an "8" on the other. Store clerk: Oh, do you …" by Bill Engvall?
Bill Engvall photo
Bill Engvall 71
American comedian and actor 1957

Related quotes

Bill Engvall photo

“[playing Pictionary with his wife and some friends]
[My wife] goes "that's not a bicycle, Rembrandt!" And I go "well, it ain't a monkey wearing glasses, Helen Keller!"”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

Aged and Confused (2009)

Henny Youngman photo

“My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.”

Henny Youngman (1906–1998) American comedian

"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)

Dmitry Yazov photo

“My real friend was my first wife. I could share everything with her without exception. That's how it came together that she became both a wife and a friend. A friend in the full sense of the word happens once in a lifetime or does not happen at all.”

Dmitry Yazov (1924–2020) Soviet minister of defence

"Дмитрий Язов рассказал "РГ" о жизни маршала на пенсии" https://rg.ru/2013/12/05/marshal.html (4 December 2013)

Megan Mullally photo

“My best friend was at the grocery store standing behind these two guys in line, and one of the guys told the other that I was a man. He said, 'If you look closely, you can tell that she is,' and the other guy was like, 'Oh, my God! Now that you mention it, she is a man!”

Megan Mullally (1958) American actress

So I'm denying that I'm a man.
Attributed

Bill Cosby photo

“My wife and I have five children, and the reason we have five children is because we do not want six.”

Bill Cosby (1937) American actor, comedian, author, producer, musician, activist

Himself (1983)

Patton Oswalt photo

“If another one of my Whole-Foods friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet.”

Patton Oswalt (1969) stand-up comedian

My Weakness Is Strong (2009)

Patrick Rothfuss photo

“It’s like this: if you have one piece of cake, and you eat it, that’s fine. If you have two pieces of cake, you should probably share some with a friend. But maybe not. Occasionally we could all use two pieces of cake. But if you have a whole cake, and you eat *all* of it, that’s not very cool. It’s not just selfish, it’s kinda sick and unhealthy.”

Patrick Rothfuss (1973) American fantasy writer

Concerning Cake, Bilbo Baggins and Charity. (19 January 2014) http://blog.patrickrothfuss.com/2014/01/concerning-cake-bilbo-baggins-and-charity/
Official site

Roberto Clemente photo

“In Canada they no have much segregation. But one day I am signing autographs and talking to white man and his wife outside park, and this other man say, "You not supposed to talk to white woman." I say, "No, I talk to the one I want. I talk to my friends. You believe in that stuff if you want. I don't do it."”

Roberto Clemente (1934–1972) Puerto Rican baseball player

As quoted in "The Man in the Pirate Uniform: Clemente is Spectacular" https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=zcxRAAAAIBAJ&sjid=NGwDAAAAIBAJ&pg=7274%2C5131234 by Myron Cope, in The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Tuesday, August 23, 1960), p. 29
Other, <big><big>1960s</big></big>, <big>1960</big>

John Scalzi photo

“I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife's grave. Then I joined the army.
Visiting Kathy's grave was the less dramatic of the two.”

John Scalzi Old Man's War

Source: Old Man's War

Related topics