“There's nothing wrong with being incompetent.… It just means you don't have to do as much.”

“Please don't say mañana if you don't mean it
I have heard those words for so very long.
Don't try to describe the ocean if you've never seen it.
Don't ever forget that you just may wind up being wrong.”

“There's nothing wrong with being a loser. It just depends how good you are at it.”

“The first thing you’ve got to do is tell yourself that the shitheads are wrong…Not just a little bit wrong, but irremediably, absolutely, and endemically wrong. Nothing you can say or do will stop their being wrong. They’re damned to eternal wrongness, and that’s God’s will.”

“Just because you don't know everything don't mean you know nothing.”

“There’s nothing wrong with not looking like something. It just means you don’t fit the stereotype yet.”

“There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together'.”

“It's frustrating when some of you guys don't put too much thought into it and you're just trying to go off the fans' reaction or you don't know much about what we're doing on offense. Just realizing how ignorant some of you guys are -- and I don't mean that necessarily in a bad way. I mean, like just understanding that you may not be correct and accepting that fact and not paying attention to it much.”

“I think I deserve this (honorary) law degree just because I have been sued so much... For those of you heading out into the world -- don't be scared, getting sued is the first sign of success. As long as you didn't do anything wrong -- don't worry about it. It's just part of this great country.”

“I want to believe you, but if that's true, I just don't get it. Why does loving somebody mean you have to hurt them just as much? I mean, if that's the way it goes, what's the point of loving someone?”