“Ohh, I guess you got me there. He's absolutely right. I'm just a wash up. Gotta stand on the stage.
- responding to the heckler saying "You're not funny! You're a reject! You never had no shows! You never had no movies! 'Seinfeld' that's it!"”

“I'm not myself.' '… You can never say that. You're just a piece of yourself right now that you don't like.”

“When I'm with you, I feel a kind of calm I've never felt in my life. I'm tangled up in you and you're tangled up in me and it feels right. Like it was meant to be. I love you, Maddie, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say it to you again.”

“If you're an actor, a real actor, you've got to be on the stage. But you mustn't go on the stage unless it's absolutely the only thing you can do.”

“You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!”

“This is what my friend said to me; he said "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." It's like, "Dude. you gotta give me time to guess. If you're gonna quiz me, you must insert a pause in there."”

“Ohh I guess I gotta quit because I said nigger”

“Some part of me knew he would show up, that if I stood in one place long enough he would find me, like you're taught to do when you're lost. But they never taught us what to do if both of you are lost, and you both end up in the same place, waiting.”

“My grandfather had a saying he used to say to me when I was a kid… "always remember that I'm always for you, but I'd rather be for you when you're right than when you're wrong." Well, that's the way I feel about America. There's no use trying to say we haven't done a lot of things that were bad. We have.”

“So, so what?
I'm still a rock star,
I got my rock moves,
And I don't need you.
And guess what,
I'm having more fun.
And now that were done,
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright,
I'm just fine.
And you're a tool.
So, so what?
I am a rock star,
I got my rock moves.
And I don't want you tonight.”