“They print my message in the Saturday Sun,
I had to tell them I ain't second to none,
And I told about equality,
And its true, either you're wrong or you're right.”

“Always expect something to go wrong," he told him. "Believe me, if you're wrong, you're not dissapointed. If you're right, you're ready for it.”

“When my friends told me you had someone new
I didn't believe a single word was true.
I showed them all I had a faith in you
I just kept on sayingOh, no, not my baby
Oh, no, not my sweet baby
You're not like those other guys
Who lead you on and tell you lies.”

“I joke about it, fellas, but I tell ya, she runs that house. Good Lord. [Several female audience members cheer] Yeah, I know. I know. And if you're a married guy, I ain't telling you nothing you don't already know. But if you're single, and you're thinking about getting married, listen up. You ain't never gonna win the argument. Yeah. If guys were a sports team, we'd be 0-fer.”

“The crucial questions in politics are not questions of right and wrong, but of obedience and disobedience. If you do not submit to political authority, then "If I say you're wrong, you're wrong, even if you're right."”

“My mother had always told her kids: if you're about to do something, and you want to know if it's a bad idea, imagine seeing it printed in the paper for all the world to see.”

“I don't believe you're an ape: You're made in the image of God, with the knowledge of right and wrong.”

“You know, my family and friends have never been yes-men: 'Yes, you're doing the right thing, you're always right.' No, they tell me when I'm wrong, and that's why I've been able to stay who I am and stay humble.”

“If you're in the room, I want to be next to you. If you're gone, I think about you. You're who I want to talk to. In a fight, I want you at my back. When we're together the sun is shining. When we're apart, everything is in shades of gray.”

“You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.”