“Sinking faster than a boat without a hull.”

“Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.”

“The swell was gently lifting and lowering the boat. My breathing grew slower, falling into step with the creaking of the hull, until I could no longer tell the difference between the faint rhythmic motion of the cabin and the sensation of filling and emptying my lungs. It was like floating in darkness: every inhalation buoyed me up, slightly; every exhalation made me sink back down again.”

“Don't try to behave as though you were essentially sane and naturally good. We're all demented sinners in the same cosmic boat - and the boat is perpetually sinking.”

“Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.”

“For me today, Hull City beat Hull City.”

“Schweitzer in the Congo did not derive more moral credit than Larkin did for living in Hull.”

“Sweeter than apples to children
The green water spurted through my pine-wood hull.”

“I thought I would try my hand at sailing. It was too small and kept sinking, so I decided to try a boat instead.”

“You know, my dad knew a guy who used to work on boats. I loved him. Sadly, he drowned one night on lake Gosser with his friend who was secretly a queer. They did a little more than fishing that night and then proceeded to sink the boat as an act of love. That scallywag was my good ol pops and his cousin Jonny.”