“Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz… chicken?!”

“Dark Helmet : What? You went over my helmet?”

“Dark Helmet: I see your schwartz is as big as mine.”

“Dark Helmet [after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is "Asshole."]: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.”

“Dark Helmet : So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.”

“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it… it says "Chicken… by the Sea."”

“I will do what I promised." He whispered. "No matter what. I will not send you into the darkness alone.”

“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”

“Enjoy your Evening."

"That will depend on the menu. If it's beef, it will be a tolerable meal. If it's chicken…" Elliot shuddered. "What is the point of chicken?"

"Eggs?”

“Each day, most of the 4 billion chicken brains do what modern man's brain can't. They make eggs and chickens. Is the chicken more intelligent than man? Probably not. Therefore, something far superior to man must have made the chicken. 'Accident' is the alternative.”