“Thare are but dredful phew people who kan talk ten minnits tew yu without lugging into the conversashun their bak or stummuk akes.”

“And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening”

“When a man gits tew talking about himself, he seldum fails tew be eloquent, and often reaches the sublime.”

“You put out a funny podcast, you talk about bak chor mee. I will say mee siam mai hum.”

“[…] I really hate big laptops. I can't understand people who lug around 15" (or 17"!) monsters. The right weight for a laptop is 1kg, no more.”

“Menny people spend their time trieing tew find the hole whare sin got into this world--if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole tew git out, rather than git into a long argument about the hole they cum tew fall in.”

“If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.”

“People may talk about the equality of the sexes! They are not equal. The silent smile of a sensible, loving woman will vanquish ten men. ”

“One who gives [alms] without advertising is superior. One who gives and talks about it is medium. Only a knave talks much and gives nothing.”

“… because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation. It's a way for people to be honest without telling the truth.”