“(Television) A recent study concludes that women over 40 have statistically as much chance of getting killed by a terrorist as of getting married. (Sylvia) And would rather.”

“(Television) Spray and wash gets out what America gets into. (Sylvia) Send some to El Salvador.”

“(Television) We are aggressively striking the terrorists in Iraq, defeating them there so that we will not have to face them in our own country. (Sylvia) Oh, good. So once we get rid of those, there won't be any more.”

“… a lot of kids do get married at 15. I would have had my family ten years younger. Instead of starting the Revolution at 50, I would have been 40. And man, did I have a lot of sex drive at 40! Whew! I was out on the road chasing women most of the time!”

“(Television) The brain is differently wired in men and women. (Sylvia) In men, the wires are loose.”

“(Television) Women hold up half the sky. (Sylvia) Uh huh, but in a poor neighborhood.”

“A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.”

“Not only the brave get killed, but the brave have a better chance of it.”

“I like reading in a pub rather than a library or study, as it's generally much easier to get a drink.”

“(Television) Angry women beat up shoe salesman who posed as gynecologist. (Sylvia) I hate guys who do that.”